Nebulous Non

Has it all come down to this?! The big highlight of my day was shopping for groceries, for chrissakes! Life’s ebb and flow is so confusing. Some days haven’t enough hours minutes and seconds, jammed to the hilt with a wild assortment of pleasures and activities, the next is like today, a bunch of nebulous non.
I sent out scads of e-mails to which I got no replies. The phone didn’t ring. Cable t.v. is on the blink. I puttered and pittered, aimlessly. And I wonder...
I do have a neighbor of sorts who has, at the least, provided some color. An older man. A lech. A drunken lech. I go out to the pool to relax, unwind, clear my mind, leave humanity behind, and the old drunk fucker will sit on his fucking balcony and try to have the most inane conversations with me. I swear, if I had a gun I would not say a word, just clocking his ass in a heartbeat the second I hear him ask me if I want another beer. End of that story. Even though I’ve not accepted a beer from him -don’t drink the foul shit- he keeps offering. Over and over and over again. Lonely cuss. He invited some friends of his daughters over here the other night and they were leaping like monkeys after marshmallows, jumping off the roof three stories down into the pool. My girls thought it fun, barking as the monkey’s fell with a splash into the water. Today as I was bobbing on the waves, soaking up a bit too much sun, I struck up a conversation with three young ladies who were looking to move here from back East, asking me all sorts of questions about the town, and shortly, here comes the drunken lech -and it’s only a little past noon!- offering them beers, offering to take them to some silly ass horse races where you watch the horses run on television, and soon enough he was making lewd comments to them, calling them “beaches”, commenting on their water “chestnuts”, all really quite tacky, and the girls humored the old fuck best they could, but the old fart is really over the top, trying to be 18 again after his dead mother left him a bit of cash that he thinks can buy eternal youth or something. All quite sad, really. He even offered one of the maids $500 to fuck him. She thought it over and decided to take the money and run, leaving he shit job behind after bouncing on his pecker for a few minutes. Little does he know, but tomorrow when he goes to pay for another week, they’re gonna ask him to take it down the road and find another haven for his ribald itch. The excitement will die down momentarily, waiting for the next bunch to hit town, and then the carousel starts anew.
And to think, this dude is the only exciting thing in my life today...
What does it all mean? Is this my day for inner thought? Recharge the batteries? This do nothing, get nowhere day? Has it all been broken down to collecting edibles? And watching my dog get shampooed?
While my ex was shampooing the dog she was bent over just so, her sumptious ass hanging out of her bikini bottoms and I just had to inspect the wares. She didn’t mind. But I thought to myself, how bored are you?!?!
There are exciting projects looming on the horizon. Is this God’s way of giving me a breather? I mean, just last week I jetted to California where I produced the start of a really cool record with a long time friend of mine, and then there weren’t enough hours in the day. Waking up, dosing the body with fruit and yogurt, recording all the day and night, making some cool music, noshing on some great Italian or Mexican food while we thumped and clanged, dog ass tired by the end of the day, barely able to crawl into bed then waking in the morning and starting all over again. Shivering with excitement all the while, that palpable charge and exchange in full effect, now this... this nebulous non descending.
I have a hard time rectifying it, demanding constant thrills and chills as my life has been a most incredible roller coaster ride.
But today was a quiet day.
I managed to finally drag my ass outside to shop for some groceries. At least I was able to do that, grabbing some victuals that will fill my body with health and well being. But then I napped. All throughout the day, constant naps. And I didn’t even dream!
I hope tomorrow brings some action. As much as I desire time off when in the throes of activity, I get some down time then I’m stalled into sadness and boring tedium.
What a curious creature am I. Never satisfied.
I need a woman, a companion.
I need a reason.
I got the juice.