Splashamatic

This dog of mine will stand on her hind legs and furiously splash the water with her front paws, like a threshing machine; splashing and biting and barking, splashing and biting and barking. She won't stop. She’s gone. The happiest creature on Earth.
She doesn’t want to rob anyone. Beat anyone up. Sell anyone crack. Talk bad about someone. Cheat an elderly person. Behead someone. Lie to anyone. Rape anybody. Flip anyone the bird and say bad things about their family. Spit on anyone. Stab someone. Cheat anybody. Take over another country. Throw trash on the side of the road. Eat until she can’t walk or breathe. Shamelessly use animals for monetary gain. Do heroin until she dies. Get drunk and drive. Drive. Mow the grass. Trim the hedges. Spray insecticide. Torture anyone. Go to Burger King... no wait, she likes Burger King. Fuck a stranger for money. Fuck her best friend’s boyfriend. Get her labia pierced. Get tattooed. Wear cheap shitty clothing. Make an obscene phone call. Spend all day beating off to porn on the Internet. Buy insurance. Buy gasoline. And fuck a buncha cars and trucks... no wait, she likes pick-up trucks. Believe in false prophets. Falsely drive up the price of a stock. Eat Fugu fish. Drink someone else’s piss. Have someone beat her with a cat ‘o nine tails. Shoot someone in the face for no reason. Believe in science as an absolute. Get married for money. Poison someone. Lock anybody in a closet and stick them with pins. Drown someone. Silently fart and leave the room without telling anyone... well... Make a chocolate milkshake. Get botoxed. Have breast implants. Hate anyone.
Yet we say dogs have no souls. We say we are way smarter than dogs.
My dog wants to splash and bite and bark. She shits in public but she could give a fuck all about it. She likes snacks. She’s love. She’s happy. Perfectly content. I look around. I’m not.