Pickle-A Love Note to Someone

I have willfully and unknowingly shaped myself into something of an anomaly. I don’t fit into any one particular social strata. I'm a walking talking dichotomy. And for this I’m alone.
I’ve pushed myself so far in so many directions, dangling as far over the edge as I’m able, I truly don’t think there is any one woman who can fully appreciate, much less understand me. And for this I’m alone.
Too much emphasis is placed on first impressions in this day and age, so much so that many miss golden opportunities, ones that don’t come in traditional, visually acceptable packages. For instance, I’ve been told I look fierce, but underneath I’m eminently peaceful. I wear sarongs, but only for sartorial flair, as I truly only have love for women, despite what the public at large may believe when they see me dressed thus. I harbor no desire for material possessions, nor the lavish spending of money to acquire them, yet I fully appreciate fine craftsmanship, and will spend what I have when I have it to be able to enrich my life, or others, uncork some pressurized pent up steam when needed, too. I routinely take wild externalized risks which give me a sense of expression and purpose in an all too square and conservative world. And for this, I am alone.
My choice in the arts is completely contrary to the type person with whom I relate. I am insatiably curious of darkness. Yet I seek and demand light. I am both shadow and sunshine, the duality of nature in full bloom. And for this, I’m alone.
My spirituality goes well beyond any boundaries of organized religions. I seek and find truth, faith, and wisdom from a myriad of beliefs, both historically recognized and not. I am an island in this respect, and because of it, I am alone.
I am a confusing mix, even to me. But I don’t necessarily choose these pathways, I am only curious and gravitate to things that uniquely appeal to my id, a bit here, a bit there, oddities that somehow fit together in this cosmic collage of my own design. Woefully, mankind blindly follows trends, stays cloistered in like minded packs with very little flexibility, much less understanding. Everything about me is because of stretching the norm to the point of breaking, not to make a statement for the sake of making one, only to live my life as I see it, as I choose, choices that make my heart beat loudly and give me the feeling that not only am I living life full bore, but the more I challenge myself the more I’m liable to discover which gives me the courage and the strength to dive off of cliff after cliff after cliff after cliff after cliff. always growing wings when I need them, new landscapes and vistas over each new horizon. This peculiar lifestyle scares most everyone I chance to meet. And for these choices, I am alone.
Is this how I envisioned my life? Hardly. But the farther down the less traveled path I journey the less people I meet along the way; the higher the altitude, the thinner the air. My back is turned to the audience and I’m leading my own band. And forget walking to my own drummer, I am the drummer. And for this, I’m alone.
I stand firmly on my own two feet, confident, assured, entirely comfortable in my own skin. But, I am flesh and blood. I have a heart full to bursting. I need love. I need tenderness. I need compassion. I need support. I need understanding. I need a sweet caress. I need.... I need... I need... you.
Only a pittance for what you’ll get in return...