Tuesday, September 13, 2005

Women

I am blessed. I am cursed.
I love women. Many of them are crazy. I seem to attract those. They seek me out. And I suffer. I get broadsided. I never see it coming. I continually wrestle with this contradiction that plagues but it steadily kicks my ass. More than I care to admit.
At times like this, after a day jam packed with irrational, estrogen fueled horseshit that I could’ve done without, I just want to disappear and be left alone. All I want is peace. And silence. Put some immediate distance between myself and the raging madness.
But I love women and I soon find myself craving a woman’s soft embrace, desiring a partner to face the world and all the inexplicable, unpredictable sadness and horrors life contains.
And there I go. Only a matter of time before I open my heart, then the facade drops, and once again I’m emotionally flensed.
I feel empty. Tired. Bewildered. Confused. But still, I long for their touch, their support, their understanding.
You see?
I am blessed. I am cursed.
And I can’t find my way home.
Balls.

Friday, September 09, 2005

Come Home To Roost

Case in point, this newest disaster, Hurricane Katrina, which devastated Southeast Louisiana and Gulf Coast Mississippi, existed to teach us three major lessons. It is our inherent duty to find and react to the positive threads that are proverbial needles in the haystack in this quagmire of futility, this maelstrom born from the domino effect of misdeeds and blind, willful ignorance.
One, we aren’t paying enough attention to the poor, or any basic human needs at levels we should, seemingly content upon allowing the gulf between rich and poor to become an unbridgeable divide. And the bloated, rotting bodies floating willy nilly in the brackish waters of greater New Orleans are there as reminders, yet tomorrow, we will -more than likely- forget them and their sacrifices when the need arises for the living to continue to splurge and frolic as if tomorrow will never dawn; these poor people’s suffering and lives snuffed far too soon quickly fading into a far distant, all but forgotten memory; business as usual the prevailing order of the day, the poor be damned, and worse, forgotten, ignored. A mortal sin staring us square in the eye.
Two, we aren’t doing nearly enough what we should for our vastly deteriorating environment. So many elements which we’ve overlooked or underfunded or ignored for years and years and years are now coming back to haunt us, and as we’ve seen, can render a city as precious as New Orleans uninhabitable. Unthinkable! And the storms and tsunamis which are the emodiment of mother nature’s fury are going to get worse before they get better due to our pug ugly negligence. These elements, corporate greed and waste, have gone unchecked for far too long due to the lining of politicians pockets and the fallout has finally come home to roost. That rueful, unbelievable day of continual, ever evolving, ecological apocalypse is upon us, lurking on our front doorstep like a vicious thug waiting to reap unchecked mayhem and destruction at its whim.
And three, and the root of the problem, is our government and the shallow, elected officials we’ve allowed to have a party at our expense for way too long. In reality, the only ones they care about are themselves and big donor corporations, even though they will cry on cue in front of a camera and stomp their feet indignantly when the need arises to persuade us otherwise. Pimps and carny hustlers are what our politicians have become, and we’ve allowed them to continue to rape us and our world with a big Garth Brooks smile on their faces. Keep up the good work with our tax dollars you sonsabitches! I pray your day of reckoning will come...
Jingoistic patriotism be damned! Hellfire! Just like 911, by the grace of God, we’re being given a reason to wake the fuck up!
Will we?
I seriously doubt it.
We, the human race, are ultimately a doomed species because of our inability to have a prolonged voice that will make a difference for what’s important and right. We’re too hooked on our worldly lifestyles and all the upkeep that entails. But it was a helluva idea while it lasted! Too bad we’ve pissed it all away.
Humans in the adult phase are, for the most part, horrible, despicable creatures. Notable exceptions are all but an extinct species, more farther and fewer between, day by day by motherfucking day. Greed is winning. The smiling, lying, stealing, chiseling shits are winning hands down.
Today is a sad, tremendously sad, exasperating, chickenshit, motherfucking day. And I weep and wail and gnash my teeth, yet no one will listen. No one seems to care in the long run. Our inability to see beyond ourselves at the core of what’s wrong. “It’s someone else’s problem, not mine. Too bad for them. I have empathy, but tomorrow? Fuck it, let’s party!”
So very fucking shortsighted...
Mother Theresa and Ghandi had it right, and even the morass of ‘fuck it’ was too much for even them.
Where does this leave us, people? Where does this fucking leave us?!
For being -according to the learned and the educated and the scholarly- the most highly evolved and highly intelligent species that’s ever lived upon this Earth, we are the dumbest, screwhead motherfuckers I’ve ever witnessed and been made to stomach.
Woe is be. Woe is me. Woe is us.
Jesus...
God help us all.
We’ve lost the plot and are tumbling head over heels into a madness from which there may not be a return.
Yet I care. So I speak in my teeny tiny little voice. And I hope for a better day, despite the odds.
We are doomed... unless we arise from our slumber.
Anything is possible.
Lend me your ear. Give me your tired, your poor. We can make a difference.
Let’s.
For fuck’s sake!
Let not those people die in vain. That is our duty. That is our obligation to those who sacrificed all to teach us a better way.
Otherwise, we are doomed, and that concept alone far too fatalistic for me to acknowledge, nor you to accept.
Arise. Awaken. The time is now, tomorrow a distant wish that isn’t promised.